


Facing Fearful Odds

by xspike4evax



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-30 04:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17216780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xspike4evax/pseuds/xspike4evax
Summary: Faith and Angel talk after she kills the Deputy Mayor and Angel realises they aren't so different.AU/expansion on a scene from Enemies Season 3 of BTVS





	Facing Fearful Odds

 

“Hey, believe me. I don't want to end up the way everybody said I would; dead or alone or a loser.”

She was going for nonchalant, but Angel didn’t buy it. Not for a second. She may have gotten hold of the fear which had been rushing through her when she came to him tonight, but she still looked exactly what she was; a scared young woman balancing on the precipice of darkness. It wouldn’t take much to nudge her over; and if Faith fell, if she really fell, it would end up destroying her.

Angel didn’t want that to happen to her. He wanted to grab hold of her and pull her back from the edge. Help her. Be her friend. Be for her what he had needed when his soul returned and he’d been alone. He didn’t want Faith to be alone and as much as he loved Buffy, Angel knew Buffy would never understand.

He never ever wanted Buffy to understand.

He never wanted Buffy to feel like this. He’d die to prevent that from ever happening.

“You don’t have to,” he said softly.

A wild look came to her eyes and Angel could hear the acceleration of her heartbeat. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s too late for me.”

“It’s not.” He was firm. He wouldn’t believe that. He’d fight for Faith to ensure that didn’t happen. She needed someone to fight for her and it had to be him. Someone who could understand. Someone to whom she could expose the darkness inside her and not be afraid of being judged.

“Angel, I’m so scared.” Her voice cracked and suddenly her arms were around his neck, slender arms that clung with the strength of a Slayer. The kind of strength she would need emotionally and mentally if she was going to get through this. Faith was strong, Angel believed in her; she could face the odds and win. He would help her. He would make sure of it.

Angel let his arms curl around her, he patted her in what he hoped was a consoling manner. Sometimes, words weren’t always necessary. Sometimes all you needed was someone to be close to.

Her face pressed into his neck and Angel could feel the warm, harsh panting breaths against his skin as she brought herself under control. He held her a little tighter, letting her know it was okay. That he was there. That she should take all the time she needed to feel calm and in control.

The softness of her cheek brushed against his and her eyes came into focus as she pulled back a bit. His eyes met hers; the deep dark tortured depths of hers and pity swamped him. He didn’t want her to feel like that. He knew what it was like.

Something flickered in her eyes. Its mirrored response flickered in his chest.

There was a kiss there, Angel could feel it brewing.

He should move away right now but there was something holding him in place; the desire to know. To know everything about her and see the real Faith.

He wanted to know what her mouth tasted like. What her skin smelt like after sex. He wanted to know what her favourite song was, what her favourite position was. What would it take to make her smile? Make her laugh?

She closed the gap between them and Angel remembered Buffy. His Buffy. The love of his life.

“Faith, no. I can be here for you but not like that. I’m with Buffy.”

She didn’t move away from him. Didn’t break eye contact and Angel felt his insides quiver and knot in ways they really shouldn’t.

“You love her, don’t you?”

“I love her.”

Somehow, it felt like he was reminding himself of that rather than confirming what Faith had asked.

She smiled and gave him a hug. “We’re friends?”

Angel smiled back. “We’re friends.”

“I better go.” Faith stood up. “Gotta cool down, be alone. Don’t worry about me. You’ve been a big help. Just knowing someone cares.”

He walked with her to the door where she lingered, a warm glow of affection in her eyes. It was good to see she was letting herself feel something other than fear and loathing. She looked thoughtful for a moment.

“You know, maybe I shouldn't be asking this, but do you think, if things were different, that things with you and me would be different, too?”

Dangerous. A very dangerous question to be asking; because things weren’t all that different. When she was with him, it wasn’t so lonely. Everything she had been through meant that he and Faith understood each other in a way he and Buffy never could. He and Faith shared the darkness, and the darkness was much more seductive than the light.

“We’ll never know.”

“Right, how could we?”

“Take care of yourself.”

Her lips quirked. “Lifetime of practice.”

She stretched up on tip toes, her lips brushing his cheek, strangely soft and gentle; nothing like Angel imaged it might be.

He watched her go, disappearing into the night and the urge to call her back was so strong Angel almost gave into it. He didn’t want Faith to leave, he wanted her to stay in the shadows; with him.


End file.
